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Friday, 19 April 2013

Why have an opinion? You're skinny!

image source
For many people I'm sure this wont be anything new..there are thousands of articles drifting around the internet about weight and people's opinions regarding it - this blog post isn't one I want adding to the list. However, my blog is my personal space to share my feelings and every now and then I indulge in a 'lifestyle' post, today is one of those days.

Yesterday I tweeted an article by the ever wonderful awful Samantha Brick talking about how she feels that in order to be self respected, successful and attractive you have to be thin. I was absolutely disgusted reading it and I'm quite sure that Samantha Brick isn't actually real at all, that this persona is made up and she's doing it all for the publicity (which doesn't make it right), but how can someone be that vile? Any way, that's another story entirely - what I actually want to write about is the fact that people think I can't have an opinion about this because 'I'm skinny', because obviously - my body makes my opinions redudant. Writing that makes my eyes water and my nose sting but more than anything I'm angry and want to talk about why that, isn't okay.

Firstly 'skinny' is the most horrible word. I am not skinny - but yes I am slim, I can consume a fair amount of food without gaining weight, but I am also human. My entire family are of a small build, so I suppose that makes me lucky right? No it doesn't. At primary school through to college I was bullied for being anorexic, bulimic (I wasn't) and 'disgustingly' thin. To say I wasn't 'in with the crowd' would be an understatement. I was what they called a late bloomer and I didn't start my period until I was 15, meaning that I didn't have anything to show in the chest department for my entire school life, my metabolism was also so high that I didn't have much joy in keeping any weight on me either, I was 6 stone until I was 17. Now to be ridiculed and alienated when you so desperately want to be different and cant is something incredibly hard to deal with. Please don't let your jaw drop to the floor and say 'how gross to be that tiny, eat some food.' I eat, I eat a lot and regularly.

Now I'm older I've 'shot' up to an A cup and managed to squeeze a tiny pair of hips out of my puberty (YAY) and many wouldn't believe how awfully self conscious I am of my body. I didn't take my bra off for my boyfriend for the first 6 months of our relationship (what a saint he is) and he's the only person in the world who has seen my boobs (that makes me feel so awkward to write down, eww). I struggle with my body image everyday and unless age slows my metabolism down that will continue. 

I don't want people to read this and think this is me attention seeking. I know that I am not the only girl out there that feels this way and I really do feel that it should be talked about more. Because I find it SO bizarre that this society believes it's okay to ask someone who is smaller why they are that way or tell them that because they are slim they can't have an opinion about weight. I mean I can't believe for a second that the majority of the public would go up to a bigger person and ask them why are they overweight, or query them if they had something to say about someone else who was overweight - it's just ridiculous!! 

All I want this post to say is that it shouldn't matter whether you are small, tall, big or slim - your opinions still matter and you are entitled to have feelings regardless of how much you weigh. Being 'skinny' doesn't mean that you are happy with the way you look or comfortable in your own skin. Remember some people, like me, struggle to put weight on - and others struggle to lose it, we're all in the same boat to a certain degree.

Don't ever think that because someone looks your idea of perfect that that is what they are or feel. I'm sure, that 9/10 they feel insecure just like you do. And what is perfect any way?

93 comments:

Sarah Nunn said...

This is such an important subject I'm so glad you've had the guys to write about it! I'm getting really sick of all the 'skinny' hate, especially as if it was the other way around there would be outrage!

Great post lovely
xx

http://sarah-nunn.blogspot.co.uk

Sunny Sweet Pea said...

Had to read this post straight away. I've had it from both sides. I didn't start my periods until I was 19. 19!! I had no boobs until I was about 21. I swam competitively when I was younger so that didn't help the boy shape I had. Now I'm in my late twenties and have curves I'm still not happy. So for someone to say 'you don't have an opinion because you're thin, therefore you must be happy' is ignorant and totally insensitive!

I hope you can take these comments on the chin (I'm sure you can), but I am really glad you posted this!

Jen | sunny sweet pea xx

Amy said...

I read that article yesterday and the further I got down the page the more I wanted to just close it. What a load of garbage! Online things like that are the reason why so many people struggle with weight issues.

It's shocking to think some people think that because you're slim you have no right to an opinion. As I said in a tweet, whether you're big, small, tall or short everyone is entitled to an opinion on a topic.

There is a story behind everyone I believe, it's unfair to judge from the outside look alone.

Great Post Meg and I hope you're feeling better now.

Amy xx
A Little Boat Sailing


Tolly Dolly Posh said...

I absolutely understand everything you have written down. I am 12, and yes my growth spurt has yet to come, but I am small like you! My whole family is, and nobody understands! When I was at my last school, the dinner ladies used to watch over me just because I was thin. I would eat more than most, but they would never understand what was the real reason. GENETICS. I've also been called anorexic before, even behind my back, and it really does hurt. I think people need to understand that we are who we are, because we made like it? Obviously some of us eat way more than we should do, and some way less, but as long as you know the real reason to why you are your size that is what matters.

Really great post, and it makes me feel good that other people have gone/going through the same thing :-) xxx Tolly xxx

Amy Cavill said...

Totally agree with this post. When my friends talk about their body issues, they laugh when i try to join in and say "you can't talk, you're so skinny"! Being thin does not equal being 100% happy with your body!

Emily said...

Good on you for writing about this! Too many people are hush hush about body image. I mean, they're our bodies, they're the first things people notice about you, it's all we got, why the heck can't we talk about them?!

Callie Thorpe said...

As a plus size blogger I really appreciated reading this. You are right no matter what your size you do have the right to an opinion and we all don't 100% feel happy or confident in our bodies. I have had people tell me to lose weight and it is not nice, in fact it is demeaning, and I have been with my friend who at the time was very think be questioned about her health and that she too needs to eat more. It isn't okay, yet with society being the way it is, it is deemed ok for people to police others bodies. As for Samantha Brick she is a tool, and is making Daily Mail a lot of money from her idiotic opinions. xx

Charlotte said...

I have been wanting to write a post like this for so long. I hate it when people tell me to 'eat something' or that I'm 'too skinny' I have never puposefully tried to lose weight and I eat regular meals and snacks like anyone else. I'm sure I speak for other 'slim' girls when I say we still have our body worries and we should be allowed to discuss them no matter what our size is. Love this post.
-x-

Molly Lyon said...

Oh gosh I've just posted something similar, http://lyonsnotes.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/a-little-rant.htm

Molly Lyon said...

Didn't mean to post without finishing, anyway I posted something about people's comments on skinny girls and Internet trolls. It seems as if it is getting out of hand!! So ridiculous.

Amy said...

That article really angered me when I read it last night, it just screamed stupidity! I was bullied during school for being "fat" and although I'm a bit more accepting of my body there are days where I even feel self-conscious about eating in front of people.

There are far too many people who have bad things to say about people who are a bit weightier or slimmer than them and it frustrates me. At the end of the day they're our bodies. I think as long as you're enjoying your life then what others think shouldn't matter.

Amy xx

fashion written with a lipstick said...

Great post girl! Really liked that you talked about this! I was heavier at some point in my life and with great sadness I can say that I have experienced bullying. Maybe not that intense, but i still did. Love everything you wrote :) x x

Laura said...

Everyone has their own insecurities. It's the confidence in that person that matters. Samantha Brick is a vile human being and what she writes is so disgusting and shocking that they only way you can comprehend it is to think that it is a joke. I saw her on a programme talking about Down Syndrome and she said that people with DS are a drain on the economy.

Comments about being thin, slim, fat, chubby won't ever stop. I thought it would when I got pregnant but yesterday someone said to me "oh wow, you are big for 18 weeks pregnant. My friend is 6 months pregnant and she is the same size as you!". It's about expectations, how they feel about themselves and their own issues. That was her opinion but it doesn't mean she is right.

It affected me for the rest of the day and today actually.

Sorry, waffled away a bit there.

We need to start loving ourselves. We are all trying our best to be who we want to be.

x

tashprew said...

An amazing post meg. Big or small were all just human.
Www.tashprewsblog.blogspot.co.uk

Caitlin Casey said...

I have been thinking the exact same for a while now, everybody has their own opinion nobody has the right to say who and who can't speak.

http://perksofstyle.blogspot.co.uk

Fiona Lily said...

I had a conversation with my mum about this the other day and I've the same exact opinion as you. I'm really thin too because I've a fast metabolism and I'm a very nervous person. I've been insecure about my body for as long as I can remember because firstly I don't like to be this thin and secondly I've been bullied in secondary school for being "skinny". People used to ask me if I was anorexic or if it happened to me to eat sometimes... Like WHAT?
Telling someone they're anormally skinny is as hurtful as telling someone they're fat... Not alot of people can actually understand this unfortunately.
Thanks for this amazing post by the way! I hope it will spread the word!

rebecca boo said...

I saw the same article yesterday and it honestly sickened me. I feel quite sorry for her thinking that having a slim figure is the only way to succeed in life! And I totally agree, isn't saying 'you should eat more' to a thinner person essentially the same as saying 'eat less' to a bigger person? So rude! xo

Nicola Purkins said...

Wow, you so put into words what I was thinking when I read that feckin ridiculous article by Ms Brick! (what a moron)....
I was awfully skinny throughout school and for a good few years after and it was awful. I completely understand where you are coming from.

When I hit about 21/22 I started to (finally!) put on weight...my hips got bigger, my bum got bigger and so did my boobs. It felt like it was a long time coming but what's awful about it was that people then felt like they could then say to me 'oooh you've put on some weight' and the worst one: 'you've let yourself go a bit haven't you?'. It was like I had actually let people down.

The past two or so years I have struggled with my weight because of other people's opinions and projections about what is 'acceptable' for ME to weigh. As if it is anyone's business!! No-one cared that I actually felt better with a bit of weight on my hips or that I liked my body.

You know what taught me to love my body? Yoga, learning to love myself (not just my body) and some awesome life coaching sessions.

If people have an opinion on my weight? Don't care, I don't let it in. I have an invisible barrier that protects me from that bullshit and all that gets in are the opinions of the people worthy and trusting to have an opinion. Boyfriends, family etc...

I know this was a super long comment, but I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone and that all that matters in the end is the opinion you have of yourself :)
xxxx

Catrine said...

just over a year ago one of my best friends lost her life because of her battle with anorexia nervosa so any kinda weight thing strikes a chord with me...

i just don't understand why weight is ever an issue and why people feel the need to a)comment on it and b)use the size of a person as judgement rather than personality.

and for that samantha brick malarky... she angers me. on every level. which i'm guessing is her aim. she wants to evoke emotion and get attention.

it was nice to read your experiences though; i think tbh too many girls think it's a compliment to hear 'ur looking skinny' (i hate the S word too) and oh god i'm gonna stop myself there cos obviously knowing about how eating disorders can start and stuff i just want to shake those girls and say 'weight DOES NOT matter!!!!'

fab post lovely
xx

Lauren Loves said...

That article simultaneously disgusted me and also made me very concerned for her disordered eating.

I love this piece and agree with you completely. Being a slim build myself I've heard a lot of this and have had rude comments on my blog about my weight. The thing that also annoys me is the term "real women" which tends to cut out people with slim figures!

Great post

Lauren from Lauren Loves xxx

Maddy Reid said...

Oh my goodness I am so glad somebody finally wrote this! I am 14 and am 5'8", a size 8, have a B cup and have 34 inch legs. When I write it down like that it might sound great to you, but to me it just means that I can't feel like I have a "Fat Day" if I feel bloated or am not allowed to hit the "fat burn" button on an exercise machine in our school gym without at least 5 girls saying something. Some of my friends are curvier and I wish I had a slightly curvier figure instead of being straight up and down like a boy, yet I am never allowed to have an opinion about weight things. I went shopping with some friends and tried on a top but didn't buy it and when they asked why I didn't buy it I said because I felt it was too tight, to which I got the reply of "Shut up, you can't even say that because you're skinny". It's really not fun, and I am glad that other people have noticed the same things :)x

Maddyscribbles.blogspot.co.uk xxx

Jennifer Louise said...

So glad that you've addressed this issue.
I hate being called skinny - I don't find it complimenting in any way.
I also have larger friends who I have never EVER called 'fat', because I also find that word disgusting.
What's most important in terms of a woman's figure is being healthy and happy.

Much love,
Jennifer x

artstylelove.com
@JLouiseArtist

Martha Woods said...

Awesome article! When I was 18 I was very thin and people constantly called me "skinny Minny", told me to eat more, asked if I was bulimic. Once I got into my twenties I put on a bit of weight--enough to get curvy, mind you, not fat--but then all of a sudden it's comments about my "big butt" and "are you sure you're not preggers?". Which led me to crash diet and get very skinny again (the unhealthy way) and hear..."gosh, you're so thin, don't you eat?"

FACEPALM.

Luckily years on later I've finally come to a place where I'm comfortable with my body, and I am not going to crash diet nor stuff my bra to make someone else happy. I am so tired of all this talk about what a "real woman" looks like! It's unfair and unkind. Real women come in all shapes and sizes. We need to stop picking each other apart and celebrate the fact that we're all unique!!

Beauty Becky said...

I'm glad you posted this, it's nice knowing other people feel the same :) I get called anorexic and other people don't seem to understand skinny isn't necessarily a compliment! I eat so much chocolate and my friends all say it's lucky I never put on weight which in some ways it is but it's not ideal! I want to put on a bit of weight because I'm classed as underweight and unhealthy. I'm always hear if you need a chat because I understand what you are going through :) xxx <3

sara xoxox said...

I'm glad you've written this, it had to be said and is not a stance that people often talk about. Ultimately, it's always going to be a case of 'we all want what we can't have' and that's a shame, as humans seem to be self-deprecating creatures. It's taken me ages to feel comfortable in my own skin and I wouldn't say I'm there yet but I just care a lot less about what other people think, which makes me much less self conscious. This is a really inspiring post, Megs. I think you make a wonderful role model to young women,

Xxx

Marina said...

This. I agree with all your sentiments. I am also naturally skinny and got all those horrid comments when I was at school as well. Thank you for speaking out about this. Slamming thin girls is just as bad as slamming larger girls. xx

Marina said...

PS. apologies for just using the word 'skinny' after you said you didn't like it; I guess it is so much a part of our culture now I've just had to get used to it - but I agree, thinking about what the word actually expresses is disgusting.

KayleighLouise said...

Fabulous post miss meg! I've never understood why its okay to call someone skinny but not fat? In my opinion its just as insulting and although some people mean it in the nicest possible way, not everyone wants to be as 'skinny' as they are. To me you are absolutely beautiful and your figure is fantastic but it just goes to show we ALL have our insecurities. Crikey if I was to start telling you the things I don't like about myself I'd be here all day! It's actually quite disgusting people like mrs.brick are allowed to spout such nonsense in the media - very insensitive indeed!

I hope you're okay petal - keep smiling :)

x x x

Naffy said...

great post lovely, I know exactly what you mean. Being called skinny is just as bad as calling someone fat. I get so self concious about my weight too. I lost a fair bit due to being ill and now all I get is people commenting on how I look. It really makes you feel like you have done something wrong even though you haven't. People just need to remember everyone has insecurities not just certain people within society.
You are beautiful and have a fabulous body so do not let anyone get you down.

Lots of love and hugs and kisses
xxxx

Zoe Newlove said...

hello chicken. I loved this post. I actually had to stop myself from crying, which sounds so melodramatic. It is scary how similar we are. I can totally relate to this - it was if I had written it which is why it touched me on such an emotional and personal level. In high school, I think I was still wearing vests at 16 whereas all the other girls were in trainer bras. I as a 32AA up until 20! It was only when I went on the pill that my boobs decided to appear. The amount of times doctors and school teachers accused me of being anorexic and bulimic was ridiculous. My metabolism is still really high, and my own mother questions my eating habits. Gosh I am rambling, but what I am trying to say is thank you for sharing this post. I hope you are ok and I am sending you a huge hug! I am going to make plans for our epic sleepover and bring lots of chocolate cake and peppermint tea. love you girl xxxxx

Leanne Rachel said...

Thank you SO much for writing this Megan! I'm exactly the same as you, I was bullied at school for being 'anorexic' too and didn't get my period till I was 15. Like you said, I would have given anything to put some weight on while I was at school and be 'normal' like my friends.
I'm still really self conscious about my weight now and constantly cover myself up. Being 'skinny' isn't all it's cracked up to be! xxx

seeking--serendipity.blogspot.co.uk

Katie said...

I did a post on body image a few days back. I had a pretty tough ride in school too. I've put weight on since leaving school and now I'm happy with my build, but I still get the occasional 'your tiny' comment, which I really, really hate.

http://golddustk.blogspot.co.uk/

x

becky smith said...

I understand this post SO much. Until i had my son i weighed about 7 stone and i hated it, i never got my legs out and i used to wear my bra strap as a halter neck so tight it would cut into my neck just to make my boobs look bigger. People who didn't see me eat use to think i had a eating problem but i actually used to eat more than the boys and would constantly eat all day.

When i was pregnant towards the end i must of weighed about 11 stone and i actually liked it. Now two years later I've gone back down to 9 stone but i do slightly have to watch what i eat now and i would like to tone my thighs, bum and tum. But it is only after childbirth and being bigger, that i am happy in my own skin. I hope one day you do too because i know how horrible and tormenting it can be, but believe me when i say you are stunning and never feel like your opinion doesn't count x

Bethany Jade said...

I loved this post. So honest and refreshing to read and its something i deeply agree with. When you spoke of your insecurities surrounding your boyfriend i could totally relate - i was the exact same in my last relationship and i think it just highlights that all of us have insecurities - no matter what our size or weight or build. I like the way I am and even though id love a bigger chest I certainly wouldnt want to change myself and its important that every girl feels comfortable in her own skin. Society is to blame for this - and the media today is obsessed with weight. Its a great shame. Such a well written post and very honest. :) xx

Angela said...

Happy to see the post and the great supporting replies. In most cases--especially when you're in that pre-teen and teen state--people will find something to make fun of you for. If you're not too fat you're too skinny or too ugly or too SOMETHING. Some people don't see what others are going through but everyone has some sort of insecurity. I'm glad people are having this discussion, because that's the way to real change.

Chelsea said...

I love the distinction you make between skinny and slim. I work with a lady in the beauty industry that is an A cup (although I had never even noticed her chest size) and last week a customer said to her "wow, you don't have any boobs do you!" So rude. I could tell it ruined her day and it really showed me the difference between people. There are those who wouldn't even notice that about a person, then there are those who would notice and not say anything, and then there are those who are incredibly rude and actually feel that they need to make a comment. You've probably already seen it but I watched one of the recent Dove Real Beauty Campaign videos the other day. Although it's not directly about weight, you should definitely watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk
Cupcakes And Cocaine

bekz101 said...

I love this post so much Meg! It's nice to have someone who i can relate to when it comes to body image, im exactly the same as you and am so self conscious of my chest size, the amount of things that i hate about my body is unreal but posts like these just shows that everyone has there insecurities and that we should just love the way we are!

bekz101 said...

I love this post so much Meg! It's nice to have someone who i can relate to when it comes to body image, im exactly the same as you and am so self conscious of my chest size, the amount of things that i hate about my body is unreal but posts like these just shows that everyone has there insecurities and that we should just love the way we are!

Rebecca Morgan said...

I always am called "skinny" and I think it is such an awful word. I don't think that people realize that it is offensive and it hurts to hear, just as much as it would hurt someone bigger to be called FAT. I'm really glad you put this out there because I have gone through VERY similar things as you, and it's nice to know that others were there too.

xx

Megan said...

So agree with this post! People never believe that I do eat a lot of food and they pressume I've got an eating disorder. I got teased about it all through school too and its shit. Even from friends! Lots of people dont seem to realize that commenting on someones weight is so offensive whether they are slim or plus size. I'm so self conscious about my figure too and I'm so jealous of girls who have beautiful curves. x
lifeandlipsticks.blogspot.co.uk/

Holly Gardiner said...

This post is just spot on, I read Samantha Brick's latest outing of crap too and felt so angry - she is beyond vile!! I have no idea how someone like her even exists, she clearly has no understanding of women, despite being one...
I have to say I have never once looked at your OOTD's and thought 'omg she's so skinny', your weight has never registered with me, I just see a slim, healthy and beautiful girl who rocks some absolutely awesome outfits (and has awesome hair). People are so quick to judge based on size and it makes me sad. I have a love/hate relationship with the term 'real women' too, as if slimmer girls are not real women?
It's so nice to read the comments on here and see how many people this has touched - it should be you or someone like you having body image articles out there, not Samantha Brick.

hollyamberrio.blogspot.co.uk

xxx

Ankita said...

As I was reading this post all I could think of in my head was "OMG this is my life story!" I am 23 years old and until last year I was stick thin. I had zero boobs, got made fun of in school, finding clothes that fit me was a next to impossible and getting naked in front of a guy was an absolute nightmare. Slowly through last year I started growing curves and although I am still 'tiny' and self conscious about my body, I am much happier with my body than I was all through my teenage and early adulthood. So thank you SO much for this post. It feels great to know that I am not the only one out there who went through this.

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Daisy Foster said...

You've really done this tricky subject justice.

Thank you for making people more aware - we are all just humans

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Paige Joanna said...

I'm so glad i'm not the inly girl who experienced this, like you I also was a late bloomer and at 22 soon I still resemble the body of a 14 year old girl. I used to get people (friends of friends) i never met telling me to 'please east simething' now never would i tell someone to 'stop eating' if perhaps they were slightly over weight. I think to have an opinion on someone beig right or wrong is disgusting. As long as we are healthy people it shouldn't matter if we are AA boobies of DD, either way men will judge us (unless we find a nice bloke). Sadly this world is ful of people that judge and magazines with articles on how to get the perfect womenly figure... How can we define what that is!?
It's great to see a post like this. It's refreshing to know that there are other girls exactly like me and that a lot of people can relate whatever the size. Thabks for bringing up this topic!

Paige xxx

hannah maggs said...

you're truly amazing for the honestly in this post, really respect you for that hun. I have a fast motabolism too and i can completely relate to everything you say, it's a crazy old world we live in, and the standards of beauty are sometimes ridiculous arent they??!!! i constantly have people commenting on how thin i am, and while i suppose in a way it's a compliment, it' never worded very carefully! xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Thank you Sarah. Skinny hate - I like it :) (not the hate, the term haha). You're completely right, people can be very insensitive. xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Jen, thank you for reading, and for your comment! I can imagine that was very difficult, but good on you for swimming and sticking to something you loved. I used to do Ballet and gave it up because I was bullied, so I admire you for that!
I've been taking them on the chin all my life so far - I'm sure I can absorb another one or two :)

Thanks again, xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Thank you Amy, she really is disgusting and I hope the Daily Mail soon see she is doing damage, as well as filling their pockets! xx

WonderfulYou said...

Hi Tolly, thank you for your comment :) I'm glad you can find a little comfort in this post - I wish I had had that when I was your age. Just continue with the attitude you currently have and you will be fine, they'll be the ones regretting it in the long run. Just look at how amazing and successful you already are at 12! It's crazy, and I truly admire you xxx

WonderfulYou said...

You're bang on Amy - and amen to the friends comment, it seems even the people closest to you can't always relate!x

WonderfulYou said...

Exactly Emily - well said! It seems it's being more widely accepted now, but it's a shame that people are still very narrow minded about certain areas!x

WonderfulYou said...

Hi Callie, thank you for your comment :) it's awful that you are receiving negative comments too - I hope you're okay. She is an awful human being, and the Daily Mail should recognise that in the long run it will be detrimental to their site!!!xx

WonderfulYou said...

You're exactly right Charlotte! People laugh at work with the amount of food I consume in a day, and constantly joke that one day I'll be obese. I don't think anyone can really understand the frustration behind being tiny unless they're in your position! x

WonderfulYou said...

I will definitely have a look Molly :) x

WonderfulYou said...

Amy, I'm sorry that you feel like that, it's just disgusting that people have made you feel self conscious to eat in front of others. We should all be embracing our bodies and sharing the love!xx

WonderfulYou said...

Awe thank you so much lovely :) it means a lot that you liked reading it and I'm sorry to hear that you've been bullied too. The world can be a cruel place but hopefully you've come back stronger from it!x

WonderfulYou said...

That is actually disgusting, I'm glad I didn't watch it, I probably would've thrown my TV out the window!

God, that is terrible. I hope you're feeling a bit better about it now lovely, she was wrong to say that, and although it's her opinion it didn't need to be said! I'm sure that you look positively gorgeous with your little bump in tow :)

xx

WonderfulYou said...

Thanks lovely :) x

WonderfulYou said...

Exactly Caitlin! x

WonderfulYou said...

Hi Fiona :) I'm sorry that you're struggling with bullying too. All I can say is keep your head up and don't let their negativity get to you. You're already on the best path acknowledging that everyone is different, and beautiful because of it. If anything, it's nice for us to be able to take comfort that we're not alone.
Wishing you all the best!x

WonderfulYou said...

In a way I feel a little bit sorry for her too Rebecca. It's such a shame that she thinks that, and even more so that some people agree with her!xx

WonderfulYou said...

Nicola, you, are an amazing lady. It's terrible that you've experienced bullying from both ends of the spectrum - it just goes to show that our society is never silenced and that there really is no idea of perfect. I'm so, so glad that you are feeling more positive about yourself and your body now. I tried Yoga in Australia and it was amazing how a few sessions left me feeling so much more refreshed and positive.

I hope it continues to work for you and it's so lovely to have such a positive comment, thank you :) xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Catrine, I am so so sorry to hear about your friend. I've experienced it with people close to me as well, but not to your extent, so sending you a huge hug, even though I know it won't help much.

You're completely right, SB is only doing it for attention, as I mentioned in my post, I'm not convinced that she's even being truthful.

Skinny is not a compliment, but that's not what hurts, it's more that that word is meant to mean perfect - I don't think so.

Much love xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Lauren, thank you for your comment :) it is worrying that she feels it acceptable to have such a post published, but yes it is such a worry that she is that poorly, it's awful.

I'm sorry you've experienced negativity about your weight on your blog - I think people seem to use the internet as a mask they can hide behind and that equals a very weak person. A real woman - gosh don't get me started!xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Oh Maddy :( I know what you mean. Sometimes when I feel like i've eaten a house and my tummy feels all bloated and sore I feel almost scared to say it. Because as you say, it comes with a backlash of HOW DARE YOU, YOU'RE SKINNY!
I think the important thing is to never lose your voice, it's your body and your feelings, express them :) xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Jennifer, you hit the nail on the head :) healthy and happy is the way forward xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Martha, skinny minny is something all too familiar with me! It seems you've been on quite a journey, but I am so glad that you are finally feeling comfortable in your own skin. I love your comment so much, we are definitely unique and it should be celebrated! You're inspiring, to say the least xx

WonderfulYou said...

Becky, it's strangely comforting to know that the lovely girlies I speak to on here and on twitter daily can relate. Although it's an awfully sad topic and not one to be taken lightly I really, really appreciate that you are there for me, and I hope you know that I'm there for you too! xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Sara, gah I'm feeling so emotional reading through all these comments and yours just made me burst in to tears! It's so lovely to hear that you are feeling more comfortable, sod the haters, we are what we are. And for you to think that I am a 'role model', that's just crazy and such a compliment that I will keep very close to my heart - thank you xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Don't apologise lovely :) thank you for your comment!xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Kayleigh, I just love you and thank you for your kind words! You're completely right, it's just as insulting but it's more the opinion thing that stung me. You are absolutely gorgeous, inside and out and at the end of the day that's what shines through, regardless of what all the haters think.

Onwards and upwards!xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Naffy, I hope you feel better. I know how it feels to lose a load of weight in one go, just try and keep yourself going and the weight will come back slowly but surely :) xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Ah Zo :( it is a bit strange isn't it? Although... I think the cheese thing definitely sets us apart ;) haha. I think anyone who isn't you, or hasn't experienced a similar situation will always be overly opinionated about it, even the people closest to us. You are one of the most beautiful people (I want to say I've met, but I haven't haha), inside and out - and I feel so lucky to have you there for me.

Thank you xxxx

WonderfulYou said...

Leanne, I know how you feel about covering yourself up. If you've seen my outfit posts on here, I'm rarely in a tighty short dress and prefer clothing that hangs off me instead of clinging to my body. Some people find that hard to understand, but I completely get it.
It's just important to live as comfortably as you can :) xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Katie, I'm glad you're feeling happier now :) sharing the love - yay!xx

WonderfulYou said...

Becky, I have a feeling that I will be the same. When my mum fell pregnant with me she went to a size 14 and is now maintaining a size 10 figure, and I hope that I follow suit! Although I'm sure you'll welcome me in saying that we are rarely happy with what we have, it's important to feel comfortable :)

And thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Bethany, it sounds like we're singing from the same page!! Thank you so much for your lovely comments! As horrible as this society is, and as strange as this sounds, I do take comfort to know that there are other ladies out there that feel similar and that we're all there to support each other :) xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Angela, you're completely right and it's so disgusting. It's just a shame that the older we get, things don't seem to change! xx

WonderfulYou said...

Chelsea, that's so sad about your colleague. For someone so far removed you just wouldn't expect it would you? I think that's just so disgusting, and sending her heaps of love!
I will definitely have a watch of that campaign! xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Awe lovely, you shouldn't hate anything about your body. Try to embrace your insecurities and run with them - they are what make you unique and what you should cherish. I know it's easier said than done but as soon as you feel comfortable in your skin it will shine through xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Hi Rebecca :) it's sad that such a topic brings so many people together, but comforting at the same time. Always here if you'd like a chat!xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Hi Megan :) It's always going to be a difficult subject to tackle and even if we do manage to put on weight, we'll probably receive comments about that and how we're still not good enough. However, I think it's important to forget about those idiots and concentrate on feeling happy about yourself and your body. Then it will shine through to everyone else :) xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Ahh Holly! Your comment has made me blub!!! Thank you so much for your kind words, especially about the articles, that really means a lot.
I don't even want to get started on the real women subject, that just infuriates me. xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Ankita, perhaps in another life, we are the same person? haha :) you don't need to thank me, all I've done is unload my emotions on to the internet haha, but I'm so glad that you take comfort in it and I'm always here if you would like to talk xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Thank you Daisy :) xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Awe you're totally welcome Paige. It is such a shame that people feel the need to judge, and it's completely unnecessary and unproductive! It's important for us little and large ladies to share the love and support each other and I'm always here if you fancy a chat :) xxx

WonderfulYou said...

Ah Hannah, thank you so much :) you're right, as a society I think it's been drummed in to us that there are 'standards' of beauty, when there definitely shouldnt be. We should just embrace what we have and run with it - that's truly what beautiful is.
xxx

Ethereal Rose said...

Has to be one of my favourite blog posts!! Whilst reading through this post I felt like someone had written down my thoughts, scary in a way but I'm glad to know that I wasn't the only girl going through this. Everyday I get comments on how thin I am and that I don't eat enough but people done realise that thin doesn't always mean happy! I'm sure there are so many girls out there going through this and feel like they are the only one! Everyone deserves to be happy with them selves, any shape or size. We are all beautiful!! My boyfriend has been the only one that has managed to make me that little bit confident with my body but it still annoys me when people comment on my size.

Anyone that is reading this and just needs someone to talk to or someone to just listen to them I can be that person, I would love to help anyone that is going through any sort of issue. Sometimes just having someone to talk to makes it all better, feel free to contact me!

Twitter: jooraquelxo
www.ethereal-r0se.blogspot.com

Laura said...

I couldn't agree with this post more if I tried! Well done for being so open and honest.

You know one thing that really makes my blood boil when I see it? Is that picture of Marilyn Monroe and an extremely slender model, with the caption "Real men like curves, dogs like bones".

I am all for the celebration of diversity and women being different, happy and healthy. I'm glad that the forced size 0 trend is going, because it upset and changed a lot of people, whether in favour or disgust. I'm happy that the new trend is to be healthy and active. But what really pisses me off is that we go from celebrating one trend, to condemning it in favour of the polar opposite.

Hooray for curvy girls! But where does that leave all the "bones" that dogs like? That's an awful thought. Does that mean that curvy girls are beautiful now but slim girls aren't? I don't get why the media and other influential sources cannot just celebrate everyone rather than saying, 'right, this year let's all be thin', and the next year 'no, let's all be bootylicious and screw all the skinny minnies'.

Irritating and dated! Why can't a girl be big, and another be small, and to hell with how we think we should look, and to hell with comparing ourselves to everyone and what we think men like. Men like everything, just like we like everything. I don't get why one thing has to be acceptable and everything in between in treated as ugly. No one is. It's so sad.

End of rant! I loved your post :)

Hannah said...

I completely agreed with everything you said in this post! I've always been slim and always had the "are you anorexic?" and "don't you ever eat?" comments so it's nice to know that other people have had the same experiences!

What gets me the most though is campaigns like the Dove real women one (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1kW9IqUezRw/UMotYZp0wWI/AAAAAAAAAGE/E_4G0cwfIE8/s1600/dove.jpg) Yes, I understand that not everyone is a size 8 but equally not everyone is a size 14 either. For people and companies to say that you're not a "real woman" if you're not a bigger size is crazy. Real women come in all sizes so adverts should portray this. The adverts show people of all heights and all ethnicities, yet they're all a similar size. They should have people who are a size 8 and people who are a size 20 and all sizes in between if they want to show what "real women" are like! It's outrageous!

Rant over, haha :) xx

Lizzie Menelaws said...

This post sums me up entirely! Whenever I tell ANYONE that I'm trying to gain weight I am met with the response of 'what for?! You don't need to' but I want to. I too suffered with the jibes at school about how small I was and even doctors would say to my mum 'don't worry she'll fill out' my mum not even mentioning anything about it to them. My body image is getting better but I do agree that just because you are slim does not mean that you are not self conscious about how slim you are when you try and try to gain a abit of weight! Thanks a lot for this post hopefully it will open some eyes :) xxx

Rosie said...

I love this post so much. Perfectly written and really hit a nerve. I have always been slim but I eat like a pig- I just don't put on weight as easily as others. I had a friend at school who was overweight and bullied for it, and I was as supportive as I could be, until the day she started attacking me for my size. She started making little snide remarks about me being 'too skinny' and 'disgusting', and they just got worse and worse. Out clothes shopping she would make awful comments about how horrible I looked in clothes because I'm too skinny, and how I must be bulimic because I eat so much. It was awful but took me a long time to get away from that 'friendship'. I wouldn't retaliate, because I didn't know what to say and I was shocked and upset a 'friend' would treat me that way. I eventually confronted her, saying her telling me I'm too skinny and look awful is the same as the bullies calling her fat. She never spoke to me again after that.
I hate the attitude of it being ok to call someone too skinny and comment on their weight if their not fat. It's not ok, and can hurt people just as much.
Thank you for this post.

xx

http://rosieposierosie.blogspot.com

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