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Monday, 30 September 2013

Food for Thought | Who are we? Where are we going?

Last night I found myself in a place I regularly find myself lately, pondering life.

What am I actually doing? Where am I going? Where do I want to go? It’s something that I regularly beat myself up about and let myself get absorbed in on far too many weekday evenings.

With these sort of problems we always assume that we are alone. Let’s face it we can all be a little self absorbed sometimes and like to think that we’re the only person suffering with one particular problem, and that no-one could possibly understand. Well, my tweet last night proved me wrong. SO many people seem to be feeling the same and from the replies I received sparked the idea for this post.

I’m 24 years old and to date I have pretty much no idea what I want to do with my life. I have a job and I love my blog, but I can’t sit here and say that it’s what I envisaged for my life, although I also have no idea what I envisaged. To write this down brings tears to my eyes and to be honest, makes me feel a little bit ill. It's never nice to admit publicly that maybe you haven't got it all figured out.

But what I did realise last night was that hey, it’s okay to not know exactly what we want right now. Yes, there are some people who discover their future careers and lifestyles when they are picking their A Levels, there are some that pick the exact course they will pursue a job in for the rest of their lives at university but there are also the people who don’t – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

What I’m trying to say is – we will all get there and it doesn’t matter how long it takes us, or how old we are by the time we do. Life isn’t a race or a competition (although it can feel like that sometimes) and our way of doing things are just a little different to others.

Image Source
There are people who choose to be big flying career driven individuals and that’s absolutely fantastic, but I know that I will never be that person. Yes I want to succeed in what I do, but I also know that I am not particularly driven by money, or feel there is a definitive job I have to have and nothing else will do. 

What I think is most important is that we don’t focus on what other people are doing and just take time for ourselves. This is the time when it is okay to be a little bit selfish. I don’t have the answers as to how we will get to where we will end up and I think us continuously searching for them isn’t going to get us anywhere either, because in short there are no definitive answers. Each of us will find our way and with a sprinkle of positivity we might just get there a little bit quicker...don’t sweat the small stuff, keep a smile on your face and try and see the bright side of what can seem a shitty situation. Most of the time we are our own worst enemy and if we had a little more faith in ourselves we might be pleasantly surprised at how productive that could be.

Because...we are good people and we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves. The people who are where they want to be in their lives (like my boyfriend Daniel for example) definitely had to go through some pretty rubbish times too to get that point, so bear that in mind when you feel the world is against you.

Our futures are just around the corner and let’s just enjoy our lives until we reach that point :)

I'm always here for anyone who needs a chat and like the good old Ernest Hemingway once said:

"If something is wrong, fix it if you can. 
But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything".


Michelle / Daisybutter said...

Wonderfully written post Meg. I've been pondering this exact same thing for a while now. Whilst I've known what I want to do since I was 17 (very lucky I know) and am now somewhat there, I'm now considering which path to take next as I seem to 'have it all' but am not quite content? Very confusing! Thanks for this post - so reassuring that I'm not the only one that feels this way. xx

Rebecca Jane said...

Lovely post, I find myself sitting here thinking the same thing. Since last week I have been unemployed as my internship finished and am now on the job hunt, it really is exhausting and daunting experience. I myself find myself sitting here pondering what is it that I want to do with my life.. and thinking I will never get into the right job for me.. but seriously how do I even know what that job is?
We seriously are so young and there are so many pressures these days, what we should be thinking, how we should be living.
I constantly beat myself up about all the things I'm supposedly doing wrong, however never allow myself credit for the things I'm actually doing right.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, its always nice to know your not alone :)



Sarah said...

I love this post, I often find myself sitting here thinking I am stuck in a rut or my life is going nowhere and I don't no how to change it. Not so much with my career, but with other parts of my life and I often have to tell myself that things will work out in their own time and some things just aren't meant to be until further down the line. It's always nice to know people have similar worries and thoughts and you aren't the only one getting these daily thoughts creeping in! I hope you feel better soon lovely! <3 xxx


Sammie Earth said...

I spoke to you about this last night and it's so reassuring knowing I'm not the only one who has no idea where my life will take me. I have just come to the conclusion that what will be will be. There's no point fretting about it, we are the only ones who can change our lives so let's all just be happy! :)

janine said...

ive been wanting to scream this from the rooftops for the past 3 months, but ive not had the courage. it's hard to admit and you worry people will view you as attention seeking, when it's really you just acknowledging and confronting the feelings and hoping to find support and empathy from others.

the quote in the speech bubble is SO true. my problems stem from low self esteem, it makes me feel like i cant pursue my goals because i wont ever be up to scratch. no matter what i achieve, i downplay and dismiss them and so i remain in this rut. and like you say, comparing yourself to others (especially at our age, when everyone around you seems to be settling and figuring things out) is one of the most demoralising things about it all, it adds to the cycle.

there's not much i can say, meg, except a massive thank you for being brave and i completely, whole-heartedly feel the same way. you are not alone. something which is slightly helping me to get some clarity and positivity is,at the end of each day, to think of at least 3 positive things that happened that day. small insignifcant things like "my makeup looked good today" or bigger ones like "i completed a job application". i might even try to think of 5 things, just to help my brain to really consciously think about the positive. it is helpful when you feel particularly low.

there's also this video which is a good reminder of keeping things in perspective. dont be so hard on yourself and try to keep positive (both easier said than done!). and thanks again for being brave enough to post this!

Nicola Purkins said...

Oh my goodness, I cant even really type what I would like to say as I just know the tears will flow and I totally cant be crying at work.. so maybe I will shoot you an email sometime lady xxx

Louisa Mary Mua said...

I thought I completely knew what I wanted to do, and I kind of still do, I want to be a make-up artist, but now i've finished the course, there are no make-up jobs. I got an interview at MAC and didn't get it so my world sort of fell apart, I can't get the job I am passionate about and good at, so what the HELL am I supposed to do? What do you do until then?

I'm now at college doing fashion & in the middle of setting up a business, but through all I am still constantly finding myself thinking where is my life even going. I don't even have a job which makes it harder, and because of college, it's going to be harder to get a job, along side setting up a business which I am gambling on it working out!

All of our lives are different yet a lot of us are so similar! It just makes me sad, because for those even younger, they are going to find it even more dificult. Infact, i'm going to write a post soon too, not the same obviously but on my opinions and what not because I find myself thinking this all too often also! You will be linked in my post so if you would like a read I will tweet you.

Thank you for letting me realise I'm not the only one!

love louisa xx

KayleighLouise said...

Aw I absolutely loved this post meg! I feel exactly the same as you! I have a job which is OKAY - the people I work with are lovely and what not but it isn't what I want to do forever! I think its okay to not have everything figured out though - it just
Makes the journey more exciting :) keep your chin up - there's lots of us in the same boat! Lots of love sweetie :) xxx.

Jennifer Tulip said...

Great post Meg. I feel exactly the same and it's comforting to see that lot's of others do too. I have a good job, a supportive and loving bf, amazing mates and have lots of adventures but regulaly feel lost and not sure where I am headed. It just feels like there is something i am reaching out and waiting for but just not sure what it is yet! A money driven career and a semi detached house with a labrador and 2.4 children is my worst nightmare so i know to keep away from that. I tell myslef it's about taking oppertunities and not lessing them pass by as they open up new adventure. I cant help but worry though. Im a serial worrier. I'm sure we will all figure it out.
The Thrifty Magpies Nest

Nicol said...

touching :') i graduated from university and took a year out since i have no idea in what i want to do with my life and what career i want. i just took a job offer within the field i took in my degree just for experience. even now, i still dont know exactly what path i want to go down. many of my coursemates have sorted their lives out already with a career path and im just stuck in one place wondering what i actually want to do whether if it relates to my degree or not. and like you said, its not a race, it takes time and at times i do feel the pressure into choosing a path asap. at the moment, im still going with the flow since we're still young :)


loulabeth ♡ said...

completely agree with everything you've written in this post, it's exactly how i'm feeling right now! i've actually had to be signed of work & take a year out of uni because it was affecting my health so badly. Never do a course just because you achieved your highest gcse & a level grade in that subject if you don't enjoy it because here i am now completely stuck & lost with my life. its so so so upsetting to live with each day, i feel like i've wasted an awful lot of my time doing something that has basically made me depressed. it's really hard for me right now but i'm slowly trying to keep myself positive & put myself out there, applying for jobs i'd enjoy & working on my blog more, plus walkies with my baby pug help too! i've completely rambled on here but basically i'm grateful you've written this post because you're right when you say "With these sort of problems we always assume that we are alone." i never expected so many people to feel lost with their lives either! i'm my very own worst enemy almost everyday but hopefully i will find my feet soon & i hope you do too, along with lots of your readers who are in the same boat! (:

L x


the novice blogger said...

Oh gosh I feel exactly the same! I've just graduated and have sent off a bazillion applications for Teaching Assisting jobs so I can apply for my PGCE next year with no luck. But to be honest I'm not even certain about teaching until I can get experience..so if that plans falls through I have no idea what to do. Right now I'm about to volunteer at a school as I can't get a paid position and I'm cleaning as a job two days a week..not something I envisaged either.
It's so difficult seeing my friends still reliving uni or going off to do masters or living in London with a job lined up. How do people afford it?! Still I will keep plugging away and it's nice to know I'm not alone. Just enjoy the ride and don't worry too much about where you'll end up :)

liza prideaux said...

You are such a doll, I also am not very career driven I chose to have a lovely family and enjoy the good things in life. Have a boring job but have an amazing hobby that keeps me happy for now. But yes like you I don wonder, what next?! I know you have some amazing things coming your way lovely and I imagine very soon so get ready for it. You such a lovely girl and if you ever need anyone to chat to im also here :)

Liza | Glambeautys | YouTube

Amy T said...

Sitting here after reading your post and all the comments with a lump in my throat! It's crazy how alone everyone feels in this situation when clearly a lot of people are going through the same thing. Most people don't have the courage to share things like this which is most likely part of the problem because all we see is people sharing the good parts of life and we end up feeling rubbish about ourselves.
So well done for posting this, it shows a lot of courage!
I'm 24 too and this is literally word for word how I feel a lot of the time.
Just remember you're not alone :) x

Claudia said...

I don't have a job and I know exactly what I want to do so I'm the opposite and still miserable haha. I can't seem to get where I want to be though, I am getting rejection after rejection and had the worst one of all today. I only realised about a year ago what I wanted to do, so it will come :)
Chin up. Great post Meg

Claudia xx

Beauty and the Chic

amyloves1 said...

Fantastic post Meg, i love your blog, it rings so many truths in so many ways. I often feel like this yet to an outsider i would seem to have the perfect life! I remember having a conversation muttering the very same words as you have to a very good (and extremely positive) friend of mine and she had the best advice .... "It doesn't matter if you don't know where your going in life, the best memories are made when you get a little lost. Enjoy your journey getting to your perfect place and everything else will find it's way"

So true. I repeat those words every day.

Good luck with everything, your fab xx

Foxandflame said...

Thankyou Meg.
I've never commented on your blog before (I'm a bit of a quiet admirer) but I really want to thank you for this post.
I've come to a point in my life where I'm halfway through my second degree at university and I still don't know what to in a couple of years. I think what was worrying me was that I was thinking the decision I made know would be the one I would be stuck with for the rest of my life. Your post made me remember that we can always change our career halfway down the path. Nothing is set in stone.

Thankyou all the way from Australia :D


Jo F said...

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for this. It makes me feel so much more at peace knowing there are others out there right now feeling the way I feel! I finished my Master's recently and have moved back home after 4 years of uni with no money and no job. I feel like I'm sinking - I have no idea what jobs to look for, but the pressure to earn money and to become employed is so bad I feel I'm really out of my depth and really alone. I have no idea what I want to do in life for the first time and it's incredibly scary - so thank you for your wise words and your friendly perspective on things. You've made my day ten times better.

I have no doubt you'll find your way soon - you're beautiful and talented and just lovely. good luck! xxx

Zoe Newlove said...

well hello lovely. As you well know, I am currently chatting to you about my ups and downs... So thankyou for steering me over to this post. Not only was it a great comfort to read but to see all your comments and support - each one declaring they feel the same. It's an eye opener. I am such a positive person, so I shock myself when I start questioning whether I'm good enough or if where I'm going is the right direction for happiness. When really, you can't search for happiness, because it's right there all along and we would just keep missing out on it. It may sound very OTT but I remind myself of the fact I have simple things - food, shelter, love of my family and friends, whereas so many in the world don't. Focus on the gratitude you hold for what you already have and only positive things will come

Gemma Roberts said...

Amazing how many people feel the same, going through similar situations! Thats why honest posts like these are really great, makes people feel less alone! Can you believe how many people have commented already, saying they completely get how you feel?! And we are only the ones who have commented! I love this post, it gives me hope, a little boost and a kick up the back side to stop feeling sorry for myself and start enjoying what I do have. Everybody gets to a cross roads, confused, frustrated, it happens! I am currently figuring out my next steps, pretty big things happening and I have to admit, most of the time I just want to run and hide from the upcoming changes. Im on a new path at the moment, and I am rubbish with change, quite happy to lead a boring life, but apparently that is not whats in store for me. I quit my job to move to Holland, where my boyfriend is from/ lives, so leaving my family is still an issue, my mom is my best friend! But also there the work situation, I really think I have to find something totally new, as Im in a beautiful, but quiet area. But posts like yours reminds me that life isnt all about work. Who wants to be married to their job? Then again, some people enjoy that of course, but like you said, you have to appreciate what you do in your own time. I always compare myself to other people, really silly thing to do. Thank you for sharing your worries, I hope you can feel reassure (as we all do!) that you arent alone in feeling a little stranded at times. We can figure it out! Lets enjoy the ride!!


Десислава Валентинова said...

Thank you for this post! I'm also in kind of a shitty situation myself, I really needed to read something like this. :)


daniella-r said...

Wonderfully put, and I completely agree and feel the same about my life. To be honest I think it is probably very rare to have everything figured out at 24- and you're very lucky if you do! I have never known what I want to do with my life and still don't have a clue. So instead I've focused more on getting a job that I at least enjoy and pays well rather than my 'dream' vocation.
Daniella x

Fern said...

I love this post Megan. I feel like this pretty much all the time, and even thought I know it's ok to not know what I want, it still feels pretty disheartening a lot of the time. Plus, I feel like even if I did figure out what I want, I'm in no position to really go for it. It's great to know we're not alone though :) x

Martha Woods said...

Such words of wisdom! You have no idea how badly I needed to hear this today, so thank you for being brave enough to spill it all on paper.

Holly Gardiner said...

Meg this is an amazing post and so touching <3 I'm 23 and always wanted to be a teacher, but at 18 I quit my teaching degree after just 9 months, hating life and lacking in any confidence...after just one month I landed my 'real' dream job in a similar but less stressful field, where I didn't need to be able to speak in front of people - even 30 very small children rendered me a useless wreck. I don't earn particularly large amounts now, but like you am not career or money driven, I just want to be happy...
I'm sure things will work out for you Megan, I'd love to say my dream job was one I could stay in forever, but sadly my bills will suffer, and I could never afford the children I really want on this wage, even combined with my boyfriend's :( I'm living in the hope of perhaps one day my little blog bringing in a few pounds to boost my actual wage, meaning I could stay in the job I love. It's a long shot and whether it will or not I don't know, my blog is purely a hobby, though one I love and never ever thought I'd have the guts to do, so who knows? :)
Life takes us in many different paths we don't know about, but they are all for a reason - the most important thing is that you're happy, and things don't always happen at once, or at a specific time. Things will work out for you lovely, you're too fabulous for them not to!

Holly Mixtures

Heather Louise said...

I am in the same kinda situation. In 5 weeks I'll be 27 and feel like I've been drifting since I left school. I know alot of people in this situation, my friends are the same. It must be our generation. I am self employed and it is so hard to keep the money coming in, I just wish I had a normal job with a regular wage coming in sometimes even though I have my own business and should be proud of that. I know I'd be a lot happier if I could just get my business to the next level, I wish it was an easy thing to do and I'm so frustrated! I see people going on holiday, doing their house up etc and I can't afford things like that due to my unstable income! One month I have a good month for bookings but the next is bad so I can never spend too much money in case of a bad month coming up so have to budget so much. I see other people in my field doing so well too, makes me feel not good enough :(

LadyDarcy said...

I always worry about the fact that I don't have any set career path, it kind of makes me feel a bit lost. Thanks for addressing this issue. xx

LadyDarcy said...

I often worry about the fact that I don't have any set career plans, it makes me feel quite lost. Thanks for addressing this issue. I'm sure things will work out for you in the end, you have a lovely blog so you have a talent at that.


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