|Dress: Sugarhill Boutique. Belt: Vintage. Hat: Urban Outfitters. Necklace: Azuni|
Sometimes, now more often than not, I like to be alone.
There's an unspoken fear for a lot of us, that being alone means we are lonely. And just lately I am learning that perhaps that's not really the case. In fact, it definitely isn't.
Learning to be alone and being truly okay with it is no easy feat - actually? It's a big fucking achievement.
My good friend Laura has taught me a lot, but one thing she said recently resonated with me.
"Megan, you already know how to do this. You're just looking for permission from others to do it".
Why do we seek permission?
For every idea, every fear, every choice, I look to others for the right to proceed, to go forth with what I think is right. Because if others think it's the right thing to do then it must be, mustn't it?
I've realised that actually, maybe, I should spend that time listening to myself.
The past two months have involved me filling every waking hour with something to do, socialising my butt off. I haven't wanted to be alone in my own company for fear that I wouldn't be able to cope with what that involved. Because that's what everyone tells you to do, isn't it? Keep busy.
We're all guilty - of seeking out others for comfort, for purpose. Everyone seems to think that in order to be successful in life we need a partner to succeed. Another half to complete the puzzle. And who can blame us? That's what everyone does, of course we want a slice of the pie!
No-one said it was easy: to go home and know there's no-one there to share your day with, to sleep alone, to be surrounded by silence. Which is probably why so many of us avoid it.
But I'm realising that I am capable. Why should it be a bad thing? To make time for the people we care about, but ultimately? Focus on number one.
Being alone doesn't mean we are lonely, it means we're making the most of the time we have, to be the best version of ourselves. Is it scary? Yes. But sometimes facing the darkness, fearlessly, can be the best gift we can give to ourselves.
Because if we can be satisfied in our own company, we'll exceed others expectations, without even trying.
No-one is alone for always, but perhaps whilst we are, we can make the most of what we have the potential to be.
Photography by Alexandra Cameron.
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