Laura: Late Feb/early March...£514. That is all xo
And it was decided. I was going to Bali.
I'd been in a relationship for 7/8 years and I just wanted to be with him, you know? I didn't want to see the world with anyone else. I was happy to exist in our bubble and if we were together nothing else mattered.
And then it was gone.
Just like that.
I was alone.
Facing the world and having absolutely no idea where my place was in it, without him.
Laura emailed: 'You could do worse than escaping to Bali, Megs'.
And she was right. Because that's exactly what it is: escaping - and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I want to run away from my problems - so what? Yes they'll still be here when I get back etc. etc.
But I'm taking 2015 as my opportunity to say yes. Look at the world with a fresh pair of eyes. With the people who understand.
Just say YES.
Because: life. It passes us by and half the time our eyes aren't even open to the beauty. I believe in fate but I also believe in hard work. On paper I hated 2014 with all of my being and now I have a hunger, to make 2015 completely different.
Of course, for many people simply taking a little trip to Bali is no big deal - but it's something I would've said no to last year. I would've seen it as simply something great for someone else to do.I mean, I definitely wouldn't have wanted to be away from my partner for more time than absolutely necessary - and flying halfway across the world, on my own? No thanks.
I'm going to lean in to my fears, take the opportunities that scare me and run with them. Learn to trust that putting myself first isn't such a bad thing and that maybe if I do? I'll be a better friend, lover, companion...you know - just be better at being me. Not the best possible version, but better. That's achievable.
So, Bali. I'll see you soon.
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”- John Lennon