WonderfulYouLogo                    FASHION        BEAUTY        TRAVEL        LIFESTYLE                                

Thursday, 28 January 2016

TO THE ONLINE HATERS.

Last night, a fellow blogger Em, who last year took the Internet by storm with her incredibly touching short film on online hate, starred as a presenter in a documentary. A documentary about online trolls. My Twitter feed blew up, in the most positive way - it was wonderful to see the support her and the show - Troll Hunters, received.

And whilst watching, it made me realise, we have our voice for a reason. And seeing someone as brave as Em tackle online hate in such a fabulous way, well, it's inspired me. 

So. 

To my online haters, 

I see you. I read the things you've said and the level of self righteousness that's gone along with it. 

I won't name names, purely because you don't deserve any more attention than you've already had.

But maybe you could stop and think for a second? What if I wasn't thick skinned? What if the words you spoke meant that I couldn't do this anymore? If they meant I was too afraid to blog? Too afraid to have a voice? Too afraid to be alive? 

Because that's a real thing, you know. People take their own lives because of trolls like you. Because they can't stand the thought of living in a world where they're not accepted. 

Recently I was put in a situation where I had to attend an event with one of the people who had been incredibly cruel about me. There is nothing constructive about: you're ugly, I hate your voice, you look like a clown. It's mean, nasty and unnecessary. I shocked myself at how anxious I felt about the idea of being in a room with her. But, I mean, where do you learn the skills in life to sit at a dinner table with someone that's been publicly bullying you online? I bit my tongue and took the moral high ground - In all honesty I wasn't sure what the best thing to do would be, I didn't want to appear a drama queen by speaking out, but at the same time why should they get to live their lives without any consequences for their actions? I kept quiet because I was unsure, but goodness knows if I'm ever in a situation where I can ensure that doesn't happen again, I will. 
As a collective, as women, we spend so much time, building each other up. It's amazing how quickly that cheerleading pyramid can come crashing to the ground when a handful of nasty people knock one of us out of our place. 

This isn't a dress rehearsal. This is real life. 

Sometimes we're told to ignore the hate, to rise above it - and to some degree I get that. But at what point do we say 'NO'? Because not everyone can just shrug this level of nastiness off. I think it's safe to say that when you 'put yourself' on the Internet, you're doing so with the knowledge that not everyone will like you. That's a given. But this is about so much more than that. The internet doesn't just exist for 'personalities' or a new generation of 'celebrities' - your daughter, your son, your best friend, your sister, they all use it too and even if it's on a smaller scale, with less people paying attention, it doesn't make it less real

You don't get a free pass to ruin someone's life just because you have a keyboard.

I'm so glad that programmes like Troll Hunters are shining a light on the negative impact online bullying can have on our lives. And I sincerely hope it means that going forward, we're not as scared. Not as scared to speak out if we're being targeted. I don't necessarily mean directly to the bullies. But tell your parents, talk to your teachers, confide in your friends, go to the police. Don't hide behind your emotions, try not to trap yourself behind a pane of glass that everyone can see through but can't break it down to reach you. 
I hope that one day we'll live in a world where if you've bullied someone online, you're banned from having the luxury, perhaps that's an unrealistic achievement, but we shouldn't just have measures in place to deal with death threats alone. More needs to be done - there needs to be repercussions for the actions of these people. 

They need help and so do we.

Photography by Alexandra Cameron.


Follow

13 comments:

Sophie Ruffell said...

Very powerful post! So true people think it's okay to speak horribly when they are sat behind a computer screen and it's not face to face. Impressive that you took the moral high ground at the dinner party and didn't say anything. Your blog is amazing ignore the horribles.

DarlingSophie

Jackie said...

This was so inspirational and feel so sad for those who have to suffer. I hope one of these days we can find peace and have no drama in the blogging world.

Jackie | fashionxfairytale |

Nafisah Atcha said...

This, this this and this again! Megs, you're bloomin' wonderful xxx

Rebecca PurleyGirly said...

Very well said! I felt so bad for you, reading that you had to be in the same place as someone who had been so mean about you, let alone sit and eat a meal with/near them. That must have been really difficult and incredibly stressful. I only hope that she felt suitably embarrassed about the whole thing and that it made her be a bit more careful about the things she is putting out there.

Steph Marston said...

The whole trolling phenomenon still baffles me! And I think you are completely right, it wouldn't be allowed in the street as it's harassment, so why should anyone have to put up with it online? x
Steph x
www.stephstyle.com

rachel said...

I've never understood the way women can be so cruel to other women, especially online. There are plenty of people I don't like online, but you know what I do? I STAY AWAY FROM THEIR WEBSITE. I DON'T FOLLOW THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA. It's as simple as that. Why someone would feel the need to badmouth you is beyond me. No one is forcing that person to look at your blog or social media... it's insane to me!

Keep on keeping on. You are an incredible, strong woman.

Beautylymin said...

I can't believe you had to sit at a table with somebody who leaves horrible messages!! Was she even remotely embarrassed or ashamed when in your company?

I didn't see the show but will try to catch it online.

Great post xx

Beautylymin

Sheren Mhanaya said...

I struggle to understand how someone can be so cruel and hateful towards others for no reason whatsoever. Why? :/ I too watched Online Haters and thought it was a great way of shedding some light on this issue. I also can't imagine how it must have felt to be in the same room as someone who was trolling you. I'd have been super nervous X

THEFASHION-JUNKIE

Megan Lillie said...

YES MEGAN. Just YES. The programme was so brilliant and I'm so glad that it inspired you to write this post. You are such a wonderful woman.

Megan xo
Thumbelina Lillie | UK Beauty & Fashion Blog

Sara Chergui said...

I totally agree ! It's already hard enough to be a woman, to be just a person, it's great to help each other and then, you need one negative mind, one snake in the basket and a lot of dammage can be done. It's important to protect ourselves from these bad attitudes !

The photos are gorgeous also !

Sara
www.thecrimeofashion.com

Elizabeth Rebecca said...

This statement - 'You don't get a free pass to ruin someone's life just because you have a keyboard' is so true. This needs to be the blogger's mantra - we all come across haters but we can't let them control us.

Lizzie Dripping

Becky Smith said...

How did the girl in question behave towards you when you were both at the event? I think I would have been tempted to tell the organisers of the event what had happened and what she'd done, you're right, why should she gets to attend things like that when she's behaved as she has. I'd like to think that if I experienced any online hate like that I'd be strong enough to take screen shots and keep them as evidence. Then if I was ever in a situation where I was going to be the same event as the person I would have proof to back me up if I decided to tell the organisers, so it wouldn't look like I was just causing a drama or making up accusations x

Becky @ The Little Blog of Beauty

Emzi said...

Great post!

Post a Comment


HOME | BLOG | FASHION | BEAUTY | TRAVEL | LIFESTYLE
WONDERFUL YOU 2016 | DESIGN BY WEST